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Dell Dude
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Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 325
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Posted 9/2/2005 5:18 PM (GMT -5) |
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This is how a heart breaks. On August 9th the Detroit Tigers absolutely broke my heart as well as my bankroll. $7000, all or nothing - NOTHING. Not only left my offshore life in shambles, cost me my job when I snapped the next day and showed up for work in my underwear and told my boss as well as all my co-workers to kiss my ass. Ironically, I left my previous job in similiar fashion. That Tigers A/N was "only" $1500 and I only shoved my boss against the wall.
Why Sparky? Why?
Right now I am down and out so far it will take nothing short than a five figure miracle score to get me back on my feet. Doesn't seventy thousand dollars have five figures? This is it now. I need to absolutely win this contest or I fear sometime during football season I will be frog marched out of my basement in my undewear and extradicted to Las Vegas to face federal check kiting charges. That is what's at stake here.
I bought my $250 entry into the Carib NFL Handicappers Challenge back in June after my beloved Detroit Basketball Pistons closed out a $13,000 sudden suicide death three team parlay. Good thing. Haven't won since. Now I am down $13,000 and have no ability to even attempt to win it back with regular gambling. Not until I at least pay back what I have to pay back. Could be October before I can even make a sportsbook deposit. At least I am scheduled to start work next week... at Wendy's.
Why Sparky? Why?
Here are the details of this contest. $250 entry fee. $70,000 or 40% of the pool money goes to the winner - whichever is higher. You get good coin for second and third too, and the top twenty cash but I don't give a shitt about anything other than first place. That's where I need to be come January 1st, 2025.
The grand prize is based on 700 entries. That's $175,000 in total handle. Right now with a September 11th, 1pm EST deadline there are 433 entries and $108,250 total handle. The handicapping setup calls for picking five NFL teams against the spread every week. Totals are not included. You can pick any five out of all the games on the board that particular week. The lines are static once posted. If you win, you get two points. Tie, you get one. Lose, no points. Then you just grind it out for 17 weeks, 85 picks, and whoever has the most points wins.
I was in this last year as a Carib debutante contestant. Started out very strong. In fact, at one point early in the season I was in sole possession of first place. But like the Tigers, the Detroit Lions kept tagging me with losses. Instead of going 4-1, I was going 3-2. Caused me to fall behind the leaders and eventually I went 2-3 and that was basically it as I never recovered. Finished a respectable 45-37-3. Out of the top twenty by eight points. The champion went 56-28-1.
Based on last year's results, I project 55-60 wins brings home the trophy. 55, maybe. 60, for sure. My goal is to win 60 games. This is how I am going to do it - at least the easy version: I win a minumum three games every week. That guarantees 51 wins. Then I pick up the extra nine with some 5-0's and 4-1's. For instance, two 5-0's and five 4-1's would get me to the Magic Johnson 60.
But for every 2-3, that requires an additional 4-1. If I ever go 1-4, I'd need another 5-0. If I go 0-5, that's probably the kill shot. Equivalent to taking a week off. So I have to stay consistent then get hot at some point in order to bring that shitt home to Michigan come January.
I have no interest in posting an also-ran thread. If at any point I fall behind so far it is realistically impossible to win, I will end the thread immediately. This will be called the suicide parlay mercy rule. Hopefully it never gets invoked, but I reserve the nuclear option if events warrant.
The theme song for this thead, from wire to wire, will be Robby Thomas's, This is How a Heart Breaks, because this IS how a heart breaks. Every time I make my picks, I will post that song for good luck. However, I may censor my picks until after the games go off. Just in case some loser in the contest is trying to ride me.
This shitt kicks off for real on Thursday, September 8th, when the Oakland Raiders and New England Patriots open up the NFL season on ABC at 9pm. Even though I have no strong opinion on the game, I am going to attempt a dramatic force-through win which if successful could very well give me so much momentum it carries me to 60 wins and $70,000. Goes the other way, kiss my ass good-bye.
Lastly, if I win I know exactly what I will do with the money. First thing, I'll pay back all those DOA EFT's so I can recover my lost sportsbook and casino accounts. Second thing is take out a full page ad in the Flint Journal (black and white or color based on if I also win big coin through regular gambling) of me in my underwear and telling everybody I know offline to kiss my ass as well as the details of my win and forum link. Third, I need a fukkin vacation. And I have just the place.
Viking's Exotic Resort. No explanation needed. Should send Sparky a used condom. Oh and I'll probably quit my job, although this time I'll put on a pair of pants beforehand.
And just like that, thread open... 
Post Edited (Dell Dude) : 9/2/2005 5:27:37 PM (GMT-4)
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RPM
Welcome to TOW
  
Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 5017
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Posted 9/2/2005 5:52 PM (GMT -5) |
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| dan, you can have the five teamer. i want to five team the girls in that picture!!! |
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Dell Dude
Registered Member
Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 325
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Posted 9/5/2005 9:53 AM (GMT -5) |
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| With a current record of 0-0 and in a 448 person tie for first place, my Magic Johnson number required to clinch the Carib championship and thus bring that seventy G shitt home to Michigan stands at 86. Any wins by myself or losses by my nearest competitor which totals 86 closes the dirty deeds done dirty cheap deal... |
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Dell Dude
Registered Member
Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 325
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Posted 9/6/2005 11:30 AM (GMT -5) |
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Thread programming note: As an act of defiance in retaliation for my $7000 all or nothing - NOTHING - straight suicide putt loss on the Tigers last month, I'm going to make Thursday's opening night NFL game thread ELIMINATION.  So I'm either going to be in a 1-0 tie for first place or turning out the thread lights and going Darko.
Just win baby, but if you can't do that then just cover! |
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Dell Dude
Registered Member
Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 325
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Posted 9/8/2005 8:17 AM (GMT -5) |
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| opening night finally here! Winning pick and deadication go up this afternoon! Anyone who has been reading my posts on the main forum knows who I am taking, but it's not official until I post it here. Been waiting for a moment like this Kelly Clarkson since the Tigers stabbed me in the back seven large style... |
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Dell Dude
Registered Member
Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 325
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Posted 9/8/2005 5:36 PM (GMT -5) |
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I wanna go for an NFL ride
Just keep my backdoors inside
And make the most out of life
This time I won't take it for granted!
Gambling's like a mean machine
Made a mess outta me
Left me caught in between
Like an angry dream I was BUSTED!
Yeah I was BUSTED
And I'm steady but I'm starting to shake
And I don't know how many more badbeats I can take
This is it now!
Everybody double down!
This is all I can take!
THIS IS HOW A HEART BREAKS!
You take a hit now!
You feel it break down!
Make you stay wide awake!
THIS IS HOW A HEART BREAKS!
I wanna go for a championship ride
Down to the other side
Feels so good I could cry
Now why can't I do what I want to?
I remember when my bankroll used to be high
Yeah once it was so fly, I don't lie
And Sparky why'd you have to take it all away from me?
All away from me
And I'm sorry but this is not a mistake
And I'm winning but I can't break away
This is it now!
Everybody double down!
This is all I can take!
THIS IS HOW A HEART BREAKS!
You take a hit now!
You feel it break down!
Make you stay wide awake!
THIS IS HOW A HEART BREAKS!
This is it now!
Everybody double down!
This is all I can take!
THIS IS HOW A HEART BREAKS!
You take a hit now!
You feel it break down!
Make you stay wide awake!
THIS IS HOW A HEART BREAKS!
THIS IS HOW A HEART BREAKS!
THIS IS HOW A HEART BREAKS!
THIS IS HOW A HEART BREAKS!
THIS IS HOW A HEART BREAKS!
THIS IS HOW A HEART BREAKS!
THIS IS HOW A HEART BREAKS!
THIS IS HOW A HEART BREAKS!
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dan dickau
Registered Member
Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 23
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Posted 9/9/2005 12:13 AM (GMT -5) |
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ANOTHER CHANCE for Deller suicide sunday for all the fukkin marbles
Fellow gambler, take my hand; <!--emo&:smiliegojerkit:--> <!--endemo-->
I'm your friend , I understand. <!--emo&:;hump:--> <!--endemo-->
I've know your guilt, your shame, remose; <!--emo&:(--> <!--endemo-->
I've borne the burden of your cross.
I found a friend who offered ease;
He suffered, too, with this disease. <!--emo&:huh:--> <!--endemo-->
Although he had no magic cure,
He showed me how we could endure.
We talked together side by side; <!--emo&:beer:--> <!--endemo-->
We spoke of things we had to hide.
We told of sleepless nights and debts,
Of broken homes and lies and threats.
And so my weary gambler friend,
Please take this hand that I extend. <!--emo&:salute:--> <!--endemo--> <!--emo&:salute:--><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:salute:--><!--endemo-->
Take one more chance on something new,
Another gambler helping you <!--emo&B)--> <!--endemo--> <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_259915-->
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Dell Dude
Registered Member
Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 325
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Posted 9/9/2005 12:48 AM (GMT -5) |
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Dell Dude
Registered Member
Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 325
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Posted 9/9/2005 5:40 PM (GMT -5) |
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Dell Dude
Registered Member
Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 325
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Posted 9/9/2005 5:44 PM (GMT -5) |
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Dell Dude
Registered Member
Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 325
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Posted 9/9/2005 5:50 PM (GMT -5) |
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Dell Dude
Registered Member
Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 325
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Posted 9/9/2005 5:55 PM (GMT -5) |
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Subject: How to resolve chargebacks
Date: Wed, 24 Aug 2005 15:10:27 -0700
From: "Citadel Commerce Support" <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
In order to resolve your returned transaction(s), please send a Cashier‘s Check or Money Order for the total amount of $9000 to:
Citadel Commerce
1500-4710 Kingsway Avenue
Burnaby, BCV5H 4M2 Canada
Please quote your Citadel Reference Number(s) of 23998342, 23998423, 23998507, 24036936, 24037013 on the Cashier‘s Check or Money Order so that we can process your payment promptly. The Cashier‘s Check or Money Order should be payable to “Citadel Commerce Corp.”
We will email you once we receive the payment to advise you of the status of your Citadel account.
Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
Sincerely,
Miguel |
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Dell Dude
Registered Member
Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 325
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Posted 9/9/2005 5:56 PM (GMT -5) |
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From: "Risk Management" <[email protected]>
To: "'[email protected]'" <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Account suspended status
Date: Fri, 19 Aug 2005 10:01:11 -0400
Dear Mr. Sargis,
Our apologies for the delay in responding to your email.
After a review of your account by our Management team it has been decides that the amount in question ($1100) will be written off. However, You will no longer be able to hold an account with intertops now or in the future. This was done in accordance with rule:
9.6 Intertops reserves the right to close the account of any customer at its discretion. In the event that any customer, after having his/her account closed for any reason whatsoever, opens another account under his/her own name or under the name of an alias or through the co-operation of one or more persons, Intertops.com shall reserve the right not only to close said account but also to retain any account balance therein without notice.
Sincerely
Ray-Dee
Risk Management
Intertops.com |
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dan dickau
Registered Member
Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 23
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Posted 9/13/2005 11:30 AM (GMT -5) |
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RPM
Welcome to TOW
Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 5017
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Posted 9/13/2005 12:05 PM (GMT -5) |
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onlòóker
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 2950
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Posted 9/13/2005 4:48 PM (GMT -5) |
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Dell Dude
Registered Member
Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 325
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Posted 9/14/2005 5:57 PM (GMT -5) |
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I went 2-3 the first week. Thread is OVER but not the contest. No way I am just throwing in the towel. The asshole who won it last year had FOUR 2-3's and ONE 0-5. That is worse than my lowest five weeks. He won because he had THREE 5-0's (consecutive) and a shittload of 4-1's.
I need to stay at or above 70%. I do that, everybody at the top will eventually come down to me and I'll be in position to close the deal the last seven weeks. So if I go 5-0 this week, that's 7-3 and that's 70% and that is par for the Carib course.
I'll update Suicide Sunday night... |
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dan dickau
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Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 23
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Posted 9/14/2005 7:22 PM (GMT -5) |
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